Hearing someone in a nearby pew say, “The peace of Christ be with you,” is a normal part of worship in most mainline Protestant Churches. Erin Lane recently wrote a blog post sharing her experience of how awkward and stressful passing the peace was for her when attending worship by herself. She writes:
Passing the peace was hands down the loneliest ritual I endured as a solo worshipper. . . waiting my turn for someone to turn toward me during the passing of the peace? Excruciating. (Okay, fine, uncomfortable.) After the pastor issued the invitation, most congregants turned first to their daughter or father or partner or friend with “Peace of Christ be with you” while I stood there waiting with elbow cocked and hand clammy. Only after the first string had been chosen was it my cue to join in.
My Experiences
All congregations I have served have either included passing the peace or an informal designated time for people to greet and welcome those seated nearby. These times can be incredibly meaningful to many (and for some feature the only physical touch received all week in the form of a handshake or hug). It can also be awkward for others.
Some of the reasons I have heard for this interchange feeling awkward include:
- being different from those nearby (single in Erin’s case – of a different age or ethnicity in the case of others),
- not knowing what to expect as a newcomer (limited or no instructions included in the bulletin or the oral invitation), and
- discomfort with social norms – especially those involving touch (or in some cases normally welcoming such but not wanting to extend a hand during flu season).
So What?
Congregations that feature the passing of the peace or a time of greeting during worship should
- explain regularly why this ritual is an important part of worship,
- provide people options (especially if touch is commonly included in the interchange), and
- ensure that everyone is included – even those seated in a seat/pew with no one nearby.
What additional recommendations would you add to this list of best practices for passing the peace or sharing a time of greeting and welcome?