The Reverend Dr. Frederick W. Schmidt, Jr is an Episcopal priest who serves as Director of Spiritual Formation and Associate Professor of Christian Spirituality at Southern Methodist University, Perkins School of Theology in Dallas, TX. Recently he wrote about the need for better intergenerational relations. Toward that end, he offers a proposed intergenerational covenant, which includes these words:
For Older Generations
You are old enough to be “stuck in your ways.” You have earned it.
The older we get, the clearer we get about the limits, rewards, and value of ambition and change. There is a time and place to slow down, think, contemplate, reflect — and that moment may be now. You are not entitled to strangle the future . . .
. . . You’ve had your chance. You are not immortal. Remember how hard it was to “come into your own?” Remember how little your world looked like that of your parents? Trust your children (or find children you can trust). More importantly, trust God.
We are passing through. We are trustees, not owners. Live life with abandonment. Let wisdom wed to love, flow from the experiences—good and bad—that have been your life.
For Younger Generations
The present is now yours—for the most part. But like every other generation, you are not here alone . . . Remember that you share the world with others.
Exercise the responsibility and privilege that age, strength, speed, and (ultimately) God have given you as a gift. It won’t last. It’s not forever. What strikes you as hip, relevant, important, and defining will quickly be forgotten . . . Don’t be afraid of your convictions—or of failure. There are gifts to being young, energetic, and idealistic. There are dreams worth dreaming. Things to see now that age will obscure.
. . . This moment is not as different from others as you think. Others have faced the same choices—or choices very much like the ones you now face. Learn from the past. Learn from those who are older — those who are still here. Don’t treat the past as an enemy. Treat it like a friend. Ask questions, reflect, think critically, and then act on convictions shaped by wisdom and love.
Don’t accept everything that you have been told. The past is littered with conceit, arrogance, and meanness. But don’t reject the past out of hand . . .
So What?
Most churches are intergenerational bodies, but that reality does not ensure that the generations understand one another, much less work well together.
- Sort your church membership or any listing of active participants by generation (Millennial: age 18-33, Gen X: 34-45, Young Boomers: 46-55, Older Boomers: 55-64, Silent Gen: 65-73, and GI Gen: 74+). What percentage of persons falls into each category?
- Review your church staff and key leadership body(ies) to determine what percentage of these individuals fall into each category. How do the percentages compare to your church population as a whole? If there are notable deficiencies and/or one generation is notably overrepresented, what can be done to correct this matter?
- How might Schmidt’s proposed intergenerational covenant function as a beginning point for increasing intergenerational understanding? What types of ministries and/or events does your congregation offer to help bring together a variety of generations and also to help each learn more about the other?