In the June 28, 2011, edition of the Christian Century, Thomas G. Long contributes an article that questions the wisdom of the idea of well defined stages of grief. Over the last generation, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) gained widespread acceptance and led to the creation of a “cottage industry of bereavement counselors and grief managers” (p.35).
Drawing on Ruth Davis Konigsberg’s new book The Truth About Grief: The Myth of Its Five Stages and the New Science of Loss (2011), Long notes that there is “no solid evidence that these theories about grief’s stages are true” (p.35). Additionally, he notes that “theologians have been rising objections to Kübler-Ross’s ideas for a long time” (p.35).
So What?
Very few people have openly questioned Kübler-Ross’s stages of grief. Many people are not aware that they are a recent invention nor that they are attributed to one woman’s work. Perhaps new books, including Konigsberg’s, will encourage further study of this important topic.
Whether or not one embraces these stages, as a Christian one must include faith in any understanding of grief. Toward that end, Long writes:
. . . the larger notion that grief moves through some kind of process toward resolution probably owes more of a debt to American optimism than to Christian hope. Grief is not mainly a psychotherapeutic unfolding; it is a perilous, unruly and emotionally fraught narrative task (p.35).
- How often have you encountered Kübler-Ross’s stages of grief?
- Have you adopted her stage theory as normative? has your church in its ministry to those who are grieving?
- If it were proven that grief does not follow stages and is very different for different people and in dealing with different types of loss, would your congregation’s ministry to those who are grieving need to change? If so, how?