In an article published by the Associated Baptist Press, Amy Butler, senior pastor of Calvary Baptist Church in Washington D.C., suggests that parishioners’ expectations about church are often unrealistic. She writes:
I’m thinking specifically about the yawning divide between church members’ expectations and the reality of living in community. What is it really like to be the church, the gathered community of Christ? You know, the place where everybody loves each other, lives as witnesses to the transforming power of the gospel, welcomes everyone, and unfailingly offers generosity and kindness at every turn?
. . . As a human institution tasked with reflecting the divine, the church has been asked to live the impossible dream. And the truth is, we often fail. But who started the rumor that being the church should be easy all the time, filled with fun 24/7, not too demanding, conflict-free, or really all that different than any other part of human life? I don’t know that any of us would actually publicly admit to holding such an idealistic view of the church, but we sure behave like we do sometimes.
For example, we forget that being part of a community takes a considerable commitment . . .
So What?
Every Sunday morning, people arrive at church with a wide variety of expectations. Some visitors have a consumer mentality as they engage in church shopping, comparing your congregation’s list of religious goods and services to that provided by other churches and to their own list of preferences. (Of course, elements of that approach are present in the expectations of many regular attendees as well, including some members.) Some who are present are unable or unwilling to invest themselves in the community very deeply until it becomes more like the ideal church they envision (like they remember the church the grew up in or as they imagine a well-known church to be). Some have never encountered the biblical text in such a way to even know that church is community. Some have been hurt by prior negative experiences with another church. All need to experience an extravagant welcome and know that their presence and participation matter.
- What are a few examples of unrealistic or idealistic expectations you have had of a church? You have heard others express?
- How does your local congregation educate its members and other active participants about what it means to “be the church?”
- What type of commitment is expected of each member/partner or active participant in your parish? Do you believe this is adequate? Why or why not?