Recently, Andy Blanks wrote an insightful article for churchleaders.com about the four types of parents present in most youth ministries. He names and explains the four categories of parents in reference to their views on discipleship:
- Christ-followers Making Christ-followers. These parents understand that the biblical model of discipleship calls for the chief disciplers to be mom and dad. Students are taught the basics of a vibrant faith-life; but not just in words only. These parents model a committed faith. They see the spiritual development of their children as their responsibility, one they actively embrace.
- Christ-followers Who WANT to Make Christ-Followers. There are a lot of parents who want to disciple their students, but for a variety of reasons they don’t effectively do so. Maybe they don’t feel equipped, and maybe they aren’t. Maybe the normal strain that adolescence sometimes puts between kids and their parents is preventing meaningful discipleship; maybe issues such as shared custody, or a single parent working two jobs create barriers of time and logistics
- Christ-followers Who Want YOU to Make Christ-followers. So, I don’t want to pile-on, or be hyperbolic here. But, in my opinion, many of the issues we are struggling with as youth workers, and as the Church in general, can be traced back to parents abdicating the discipleship of their students to someone else, namely the youth ministry of their church. There are probably a handful (maybe a lot?) of parents in your youth ministry who have no desire to disciple their children. This, in their minds, is what youth group is for.
- Parents of a Christ-follower Who Do Not Follow Christ. These students are in a home where there are no parents who follow Christ. Maybe these students came to faith through your ministry, or through some other avenue. At any rate, these youth are active in your group. And your ministry is probably the primary means of spiritual development these students encounter.
Andy Blanks is the co-founder of youthministry360.com, which is a youth ministry resource provider that exists to see teenagers transformed through knowing Christ, and to equip and serve youth workers. To connect with youthministry360, like them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, watch them on YouTube, or read their blog. To connect with Andy Blanks, friend him on Facebook or follow him on Twitter.
So What?
In the article, Blanks considers the effect each type of parent has on students and the role the youth director/minister should play in working with them. Think about your congregation’s youth ministry:
- What percentage of parents falls into each category?
- Are there any parents who do not fit into a category? If so, what additional categories would you add to the list? (I would add parents of a prospective Christ-follower who do not follow Christ.)
- How well does your youth director/minister work with each group? Does the youth director/minister customize the approach or is it generally a one-size-fits-most/all effort? Does the Senior Pastor (or other staff member who supervises the youth director/minister) encourage your youth director/minister to devote equal attention to all groups or are some given greater priority?
- If a large percentage of parents fit the third profile, what is being done and what can be done to help these people move into either the first or second category? Is such a change consistent with the overall DNA of the congregation (e.g. ministry is something Christ-followers are all called to do not something provided for church members and their families to consume)?